Over the years it has shown itself in many ways. I am sure I had depression as a child/teen, but it didn't completely surface until after I was married. I remember having depressing thoughts and even some suicidal thoughts. I often reflect on why I never really "became" a broken person till later. I am sure there are many different reasons, but the biggest one was simply this...
I was LOVED!!! My family was poor and crazy and large (5 kids) but I knew without a doubt that I was loved completely!! My father often held 2 or more jobs to provide for us and to keep my mom at home. He played silly little games with us and called me his Princess.
My mother devoted every second of every day to making us feel love and peace. She often went without her own needs to see that we had ours. And to this day, aside from my husband, she is my best friend.
This blog is my new journey. It is my way of dealing with "the broken in me" and sharing what it's like being broken. If you also suffer from mental illness or have a loved one with mental illness and you would like to share, feel free to email me.
I love you! I know you are not alone with this battle, even though you feel alone. I am only a phone call or email away. Thank you for sharing your vulnerable truth.
ReplyDeleteI love your family, your mom is so sweet! Sorry, I didn't know you were depressed as a teen. I wish I could have helped. You are a dear friend and I love you!! You can work thru this!!!
ReplyDeleteI don't think you are broken :)