Well, I really do think that I have found some things that have helped me IMMENSELY!! First, the St. John's Wort. My doctor kindof laughed at me. He said that St. John's Wort has been proven to help with mild depression. But mine is severe and to not expect much from it. And although it wasn't a complete perk up thing, it helped to aleviate some of the bad mood.
The second thing I have found is essential oils. I started selling them and have found extra help and health. I was and still am a sceptic! But what I have seen so far has been very positive. I had a funny confirmation of the oils - I will share. My husband and I like to play competetive word games with each other. I am sure you have heard of Words with Friends, or Scramble. Well, we LOVE to play against each other. I usually kick his butt, but then he catches on and improves and starts to beat me. Then it take more mental power for me to focus so I can beat him. So one day I was sitting at the dining room table and my new oils had come and I was splitting them into different containers for my friend and I to share. I was just having so much fun sniffing all the oils and reading what they are used for. After I was done with the oils, I picked up my itouch to play a few games against my hubby. And BAM!!!!! - everything was in complete focus. Not muddled thoughts (which is just normal for me). And yes, I did beat him on those games I played.
So I have been pleased with both of those items.
I am still on a constant dose of the antianxiety. And I need it. :( Last week I forgot to take the lunch and dinner doses for about 4 days (maybe more) and a few days later it hit! The anxiety started up again. That frustrated me. But looking at it now, I realize that I am not having the anxiety at all as long as I keep up on my doses. That's more than before. I couldn't control the anxiety with the medicine before. So I have made some steps. And I am happy about that. I have also learned how to set up a reminder alarm on my phone. LOL - no forgetting now!!
I am proud of myself to be doing so well through all we have gone through as a family in the past few weeks. Let me explain... (and I am being completely honest in things so this may be hard for me to put out there)
* We are poor. Totally and completely! No money for extras at the end of the day and I often worry how we will pay for things like braces, school clothes (summer swimsuits are covered thanks to hand downs). Sometimes money concerns encompass a great part of my thoughts. So imagine my frustration when one Saturday evening our AC unit just wasn't cooling the house. $400 fix!
* Then we spent 2 days putting up the pool that we do every year. Nothing huge, but not small either. And over the past 2 weeks we have filled and emptied the pool and fixed countless holes in the bottom. We have gone through 3 patch kits and even purchased a cheapo airbed to use the vinyl for large patches. And today, I fixed the last two holes (hopefully)!!!
* Next, my car broke down again. I had to "limp" it home the other day in order to not overheat. $400 fix
* One of my close friends just lost her mother to cancer. It was a difficult situation and very sad to have her gone. Her mother was an amazing woman and it hit the community hard when she passed. My kids still get a little teared up when we talk about her. (I planned a Chicksperiment in her honor - she was a scientist. The kids are excited.)
* My husband's grandfather got very ill and then passed away. Hubby has been flying back and forth to see him and now for the funeral.
* Those are the main things. The other everyday things in life are now manageable for me. That's a plus!
I have a Dr. appt. tomorrow which I have to reschedule. But hopefully next time I meet with him we can start to delve into anti depressants. I wish that the holistic things would make it so that I didn't have to take the medication, but I don't think that's going to be the case. We will see though.
